it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
