Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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