I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
