Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
