I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
