you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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