So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
