god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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