My room smells like vodka and shame
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
