They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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