Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
