she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
