I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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