i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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