turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
