But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
