I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
No I am not eating basil off your cock
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
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