Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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