Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
