You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
