Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
