I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize
