drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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