You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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