Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
