How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
