...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
