I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just gift wrapped bread.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
