Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
