I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
This house was built for laser tag.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
