Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
