she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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