i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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