There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
