I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
