If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
