She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
