i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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