Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
