I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
