He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
