I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
