i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
