dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
