So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
