i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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