"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize