No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
