How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
