So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
