i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
